Friday, February 3, 2017

COS and BDBU by Jake

Are you bones starting to stiffen up from laying around too much? Are you tired of smelling the same old perfume smells, cooking smells and all the other odors of the interior of a house? Do you get bored bringing that smelly old hunting sock back to your owner just to have him give you a short two minute session of tug of war? Do you find yourself running from door to door hoping someone will open it up and let you up? Does your owner ignore your constant nudge with the nose as he sits and watches the television?

Are you tired of hearing complaints about all the snow? Does your owner promise to take you for a walk and five minutes from the door he turns back because of the cold even though he's got four layers of clothes on? Sure the cinnamon rolls were great for a while, but have you noticed the few extra pounds? Are you tired of barking at the door and other tricks to get your owner off the easy chair and outside?

Well, you're not alone. There are millions of dogs that suffer the same affliction. Especially in eastern Oregon and the state of Idaho this year it has become an epidemic. Dogs across the western U.S. have become very familiar with the disease. But don't fear there is an answer. It isn't a pill or one of those special diet and energy clubs and it doesn't happen over night, but it is a proven procedure that has been performed on thousands of humans with a 98 % success rating. Dog's all over the world have given the training program a five star rating.

The program has a money back guarantee. If you don't lose four pounds and your owner doesn't get out at least 8 times in the first month your money will be returned. You have nothing to lose, your owner is just sitting there right now isn't he? The trainers have been trained by accredited colleges everywhere and have a degree in COS (canine owner stimulation). The course is much more intensive than the course they took to use their stimulation on you (thirty second version).

We here at GHOTA (get humans off their ass) use only accredited trainers and have only hired from the top 10 % of the members with a COS. So you are sure to get the best benefits for your money. It's a simple program that you will be involved in on every step. There will be no pain to you but plenty of running time. If you pursue this program for multiple months, the benefits will be unbelievable. You can expect up to twenty four days of activity in a single month if you take the 6 month version of this course. One GSP, Cavin actually had to start faking injuries because Jeff, the owner was taking him out every day of the week until Cavin finally got bored with it.

It cost a little more but if you need to speed the process up some, you can apply for our BDBU (break down and build up) certified trainers. They have a master's and can do unbelievable therapies on our owners to expedite  compliance.

Without giving away all the secrets, the program simply encourages the owner to get out with you. The first steps are showing him how he can walk trails, snow mobile tracks, logging roads, etc. while letting you run and cover what country you desire. That way he learns to walk without hurting himself. Later we get into the off road stuff. Usually there is some stimulation involved. We set it up so that the stimulation fits the human. We put probes on the human butt and waist with the stimulator on the throat. We used to put the stimulator on the back of the neck but found humans began hitting the back of their head at times after training, with the throat they just kind of stiffen up. Our accredited consultants will make sure we have the right stimulation on your human. We wouldn't want to see his feet come off the ground three feet. Unless we have a completely uncooperative human, the high level is never used. After the first month or so you will have complete control. You will simply turn the stimulator on or off by a switch that we will mount on your collar. The switch has a protective cover so that you can't activate or deactivate it by accident. Just a simple push of the front paw toe and your in control.

Say you're at home and your human hasn't been out for a while. Turn on the switch. Every time he sits he's get a stimulation. Depending on how long you have the stop function set for, whenever he stops moving the waist sensor will set the stimulation off. Soon you'll be out walking.

So, what are you waiting for? Haven't you wasted enough time already? We have several dogs just waiting at the phone to help you out. If you have any problems at all, Jake, the president will be there to help you through it. Just call 1-800-dog help or contact us at and we'll get you started.

For those who call or connect on line within the next hour we will also send you a dog brush or bird wing of your choice. Call now.

Call now to discuss price.



Hi, is this Jake? Sorry I can't speak up,(somebody may be ease dropping), but please send training documents and invoice the guy listed below..thanks for the help. I'll take the bird wing. Pip

larry szurgot said...

I understand "on the qt". Package is shipped.

Anonymous said...

We got another foot of snow last night so I heard a lot of BS about having to stay home. I find a lot of common ground in this article.The old man better bring some cinnamon rolls back when he comes home. He said we could go to the beach and the setter and I are holding him to it. Keep up the good work Jake.
Mays and the Setter